School

I love it and hate it. Seriously, both at the same time, it's weird.

I love learning. I love attending interesting lectures and learning how the world works, history is easily my favorite as long as it's being taught by a good teacher.

But the things I hate about school? Sadly the list is longer. I hate boring classes we're required to take. I hate bad teachers which make awesome subjects the most boring thing in the world. Mostly I hate the homework. I know it helps me to learn stuff better (or so they say), but I have knowing that after I sit in class for three and a half hours, I'm going to have to go home and read more and write some papers and solve problems... And it's expected that I spend three hours of work for every credit a class is worth. Average classes are worth 3, science classes 4. Which means that each class is supposed to have nine to twelve hours of homework a week! That's ridiculous! Add that to the fact that I'm taking five classes? And none of that included the lectures or time it takes to drive to school... Good gracious, it's a wonder I have free time! And I don't even have a job yet! I know I need one, but quite frankly, I don't want to give up the little free time I do have.

Because let's face it, for me free time doesn't exist. I'm an avid writer, and I'm always drawing something or other...and I manage a lot of stuff. Mostly groups on deviantArt and an RPG forum or two...but the fact is, I come home from school or finish homework, only to work even more. At least with this other stuff I'm volunteering to do it.

Though I admit, running groups can be pretty taxing on DA. I have to be pretty on top of things, running various activities like contests and prompts and such... I need to cut things off at deadlines, constantly post reminders so people actually participate, organize and count votes, sort artwork... I do a LOT of work for each group I run, and I run a lot of them.

And sad thing is, no one notices! I think that twice in my time as a group admin, people have told me that I do a good job. TWICE. The first time, someone said that they really appreciated how much work I put into it, and how friendly and patient I was with them. The second time they just said they're really impressed, since I run so many groups and do such a good job with all of them. That's how sad it is, I even remember what they said -.-

Call me crazy, but I like being told that I've done a good job every once in a while, you know? I like it when people notice my hard work, it's nice to know it isn't going all to waste. Heck, I got excited when a friend told me that the bathroom looked good after I cleaned it, lol.

On that note, I hate that there are so many amazing artists on DA who simply don't seem to appreciate their watchers as much as me -.- i know one who had 31,000 something people watching her...I'm excited with 400! I don't know...I just feel like they get used to being famous and well liked and all that stuff. I kinda wish they were newbies and had to build up their fanbase all over again. Maybe I'd get some attention that way ^^;

Nah, I'm not that selfish. I can't imagine having 30,000 people watching for new artwork from me...the pressure to create stuff they'll all like would be insane! I don't feel that pressure with 400, cuz I know they're all watching me for different reasons. But that many would be overwhelming. not to mention you'd never be able to keep up with messages! I sometimes put off thanking people for favorites, but even though I sometimes have over 100 of them, I'll still thank them all. With a huge number, I think I'd have to give up -.- Still, you'd think they'd be able to reply to more comments...though when they get five or more pages of the same thing, I can see why they don't bother replying.

If you can't tell, I have one artist in mind while talking about all this. She's amazing, for sure! But still, she's so...predictable? And the moment she's into something, it's like there's a flood of fans all of a sudden! I was fine when she was obsessing over James and Lily, they're not so much my thing. But then it was Doctor Who, and right now the Weasley Twins. The Twins are MY thing, they have been for ages! I feel like she's taking over my territory, and she doesn't even know I exist! And oh man, I doodles a sketch piece for a prize a while back, and recently, she did almost the exact same thing in her own style! So yeah, it was better than mine, but it was still almost a blatant rip off! And I KNOW that it was, because she favorited that piece! It was months ago, so she probably forgot where she got the idea...but the fact remains that it was my idea, and I can't really call her out on it -.-

I'm too nice for my own good >.<

Oh right, this posted started off talking about school? Well this is just a little hint of how my brain works. ALL over the place, lol. If it bothers you, oh well. I can't change the way my brain works =P

~Emmy

Grr...

Two posts in one day. Strange I know. Even stranger, I literally posted that last one about 40 seconds ago and yet here I am again.

Today I fell in love, got jealous, and had my heart broken all in the course of a few hours.

Alright, not quite that dramatic. But very miniscule versions of the feelings did occur.

I joined a new RP forum simple because I've been missing it so much lately. A Harry Potter based one. Now, anyone who knows me, which none of you do, would know that I'm kind of sort of obsessed with George Weasley. That was the bait my friend used to get me to join in the first place, lol. So I find out that George Weasley on this RP site is played by a guy about a year or two older than me, in law school...and I thought "you know what, this guy could be pretty cool!" After all, any male my age willing to roleplay at all, let alone on an HP forum, let alone my favorite character, has to be a pretty cool dude.

So I added him on msn, sent friend requests, ect... and the other girls from the site seemed to already be interested in setting us up! To the point that they asked me a bunch of questions and such about what I look like and stuff. So yeah, I was getting my hopes up a little bit. Too much, but what can I say, I crush easily -.-

Turns out the guy has a girlfriend, though he is interested in an RP with my character and his George. So things should go well as far as the characters go, just not with us.

It's just so weird...I mean I didn't - and still don't - even know this guy! I had a crush on him without even talking to him or knowing what he looks like! I was so intent on who I thought he was that I seriously had dreams about the situation.

So now I'm just kind of bummed. I know it's dumb to be upset over someone I don't even know. But it happened, and I am. It's so annoying, I hate feeling this way!

This is the reason I'm single. I crush so easily and then get turned down enough that I don't want to try. And usually the guy isn't even aware that it's happened. Of course, it helps that the only guys I talk to are online, so they don't know much about what I'm doing anyways. I don't know any guys in real life that I'd crush on. Not really anyways.

I know OF guys I might like to date. One in particular was in one of my classes last semester. He was a redhead and hot, so I mentally called him George before I learned what his real name was. Even now, I call him George when I talk about him online.

God, I am SO pathetic, no wonder I'm single...

~Emmy

The Bitch Corner

That's what've decided shall be the secondary name for this blog. It makes sense too, but I must explain it in such a way that'll mean it makes sense to everyone, and not just in my brain.

You see, I am a nice person. And I don't mean that I smile and nod and am polite and such. I mean I am a very nice person. As in...I don't really know how to be mean to anyone. Seriously, I don't! Well, my brother perhaps. But I've known him forever and we know when we mean it when we say mean stuff and when we don't and just need to cool off. But aside form him? I honestly have a hard time even hinting to people that I'm upset with them for any reason.

This is both a good thing, and a very bad thing. On the good side of the argument, my friends always know they can trust me, and they like me, and stuff like that. I'm fun to hang out with, and I'm dependable and such.

On the other hand, it means that I'm hiding every negative feeling I get. And it all tends to build up inside of me until I'm ready to explode at the world. At which point I lock myself in my room and refuse to speak to people for a week, and they wonder why.

Because apparently, either I'm VERY good at hiding my emotions, or people are even less observant than I give them credit for. You'd think people would notice that when I'm happy, I'm chatting and taking part in the conversation. So when I go quiet, there's likely something wrong. But do people notice? Nope.

So yeah, that's my life. Spent hidden away from the world, with people - even my friends - never knowing the truth of who I am.

How depressing is that? -.-

So for this reason, this blog will be a place to vent when I need to. I can't do it in any of my other online homes, because I've got too many close friends in too many places. Both real life and online ones. If I rant about something, it'll have to be here, because it's the only location with no connections to any of my other online accounts.

So yeah, that's why my nickname for this place will be Bitch Corner. Because this is the one time I will allow myself to let the bitchy thoughts that I secretly have out in the open. Even if I don't have anyone following me, it's nice to know that it's public, you know?

~Emmy